Me and the topic of love

What is love? And why did Mother Culture come up with the idea of love in the first place? Love is the meaning that we assigned to the otherwise meaningless act of procreation. Although at this point, procreation has become an interesting topic of discussion, seeing as humans are multiplying like cancer. But love. Yes, love. I can't say I really know what love feels like. I love my parents and my brothers and sisters, without a doubt, I even love water polo and learning and the world, but I can't say I've ever really loved a partner. My two month relationship Freshman year with my now really good friend was not a love relationship. Sure, we cared a lot about each other, but what we had was not true love. I've never had a relationship since. I am a virgin. Sure, I've had crushes and guys who have crushed on me, and I was even on the verge of being in a relationship with a guy who I found was not right for me at one point. The one guy I have crushed on the longest doesn't appear to feel the same way about me. Oh well, at least he also got into the university he wanted to.

So what is the point I am getting at here? Well first of all I want to repeat myself and say I don't know squat about love but I like to pretend that I do. Second, from what I do pretend to know, love is the exact antithesis of rationality. Everything that love entails is irrational; unpredictable; unexpected. But a relationship, now that is something else entirely. You may love a person with all of your heart, but you might never be able to have a good, strong relationship with them. You two may seem meant for each other, but when it comes to some matters, you could not be any more different. It's sad, but that's the way it is. Sometimes it is possible to make sacrifices and still maintain a healthy relationship. Sometimes that's not possible at all. You cannot ask a person to change who they are just because of how much you love them. Love is irrational. A relationship must not be so.

There is something else: life is unfair, and so is love. I have seen many classmates and adults in and out of relationships. Many of these people (to me at least) appear unattractive and unintelligent, which makes me wonder how in the world they are in relationships in the first place. But then I know people who have it all: intelligence, athleticism and kindness, and they are, like me, without a significant other. Why is this so? Part of me says that someone who "has it all" is intimidating. That is, it is intimidating to ask them out, for fear of rejection. Another part of me says that having it all limits your choices, so to speak, for people who are right for you. I suppose both of those are slightly positive, because hopefully in the end you'll end up with a really great partner. But at the same time, it's hard because in the meantime there is no one, and loneliness often appears to be our only companion.